Words for Said

There are so many words for “said”: explained, shouted, yelled, whispered, complained, announced…you get the picture. In some of the work I critique, sentences go something like this:

‘Hello!’ yelled Jane.

‘It’s nice to see you,’ announced Mary.

‘What a fine day,’ John commented.

Right. It sounds terrible – not just because of the incredibly lame names I just used, but mostly because of the words for “said” I used. There is nothing wrong with the word said. Having so many different words for said draws even more attention than using it too much.

By comparison, below is an excerpt of my WIP.

‘Sure is,’ Chris says as he appears from below. ‘Best place in the school.’

                ‘Best place in Rain,’ Thea corrects him. ‘Is that what you were named after, Cloud?’

                ‘I don’t know,’ I say. ‘Robert – my dad – was going to tell me, but he got distracted.’

                ‘You call your dad Robert?’ says Thea. ‘That’s a bit strange. Actually, come to think of it, how did you get here in the first place? To the school and whatever?’

                ‘Long story,’ I say, because it is.

                ‘We’ve got heaps of time,’ Thea says. ‘Like, bundles and bundles of it.’

                And the bell rings.

                ‘Maybe not,’ Thea says.

Notice that even though I use “say” or “says” most of the time, it still sounds natural. Now, I probably should have used another example rather than mine, but you still get it…I hope.

The word said is not your enemy. Love it. Treat it with respect. Don’t use it every single time, but using it for most dialogue is fine…good even.

Other editors or authors might tell you not to use “laughed” as a substitute for said. But in that case I actually disagree, because I think it works. You might not be able to laugh while talking, but it conveys the image of someone laughing before or after. Which is a good thing. I would still tend to stay away from unrealistic “said” words most of the time.

Instead perhaps use them as action tags. “That’s hilarious,” he said, laughing. See? It works just as well.

In doubt about which word to use? Said. Said is your friend.

One final note: please don’t use “ejaculated.” Unless you’re trying to make people laugh. 

PS: In my excerpt above, her name isn’t really Cloud. Just if you were wondering.